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| Finally went down to irvine after 3 months or longer.....or shorter. i
don't have a good sense of time. it was good seeing all the people who
really matter. it's too bad it gets harder to keep in touch with
45 miles between us....damn gas prices arent helping but i do have to
say that i like the steady decline in number. anyway, it's hard but
everyone's gotta make some effort to see the homies
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fastlane
i'm
going past 100 mph and i don't care. at this rate, everything seems to
be going in slow motion. all these other insignificant people who are
slowly draining the earth. when you realize something that hurts so
deep nothing else really matters. except the question....why? WHY? oh
well...you can't do anything about it now...pathetic...inhale...deep
breaths...exhale.....bye
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| another thing that came to mind...
lately i have been MIA. from all things and all people...giving
up on life almost because it just seems to hard to keep up.
working 7 days a week is starting to become a little difficult...making
me crawl further back into this new cave i've recently
discovered. i know i'm losing touch with people i really care
about. purposely being to busy to answer the phone...depression?
perhaps...it's easier to just hide and not deal with the shit...i'm
doing this again...while being selfish and feeling sorry for myself, i
lose touch....then they disappear. the people who really
matter. the phone calls slow down....eventually coming to a
complete stop. anybody still there?
i find myself running from people i'm very interested in as well...what is wrong?
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| je suis tres perdu...i can't make any decisions...will she get hurt?
it's inevitable...whatever i decide...part of me wants something with
her...the other part isn't so excited about it...don't be haste...take
your time...she's the one...i tell myself but it's hard to just listen
to the voices...yes i have voices in my head...we carry long
conversations on issues of sanity...
anyway, i really do like her...i guess i just start to run when i see
that she feels the same way and expects somethin to
happen..............i don't think i can stop running
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| damn i can't believe i missed my homie's birthday. fuker didn't
even tell me it was his bday...haha, we're going to mai tai in long
beach though! biaaaatch
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